This week has been a bit strange, there have been highs and lows and an epiphany. I would normally blame a week like this on monthly hormonal swings, but to tell the truth it’s more than that: it could be more of a mid-life thing.

The epiphany was that the things I want to do outside of work are more important to me than having a permanent full-time job.

I’ve been at my casual job for four months now and I am quietly confident that  eventually they will ask me to become a permanent full-time employee. And if they’d have asked me a month ago I’d have cheerfully said yes, because originally that was what I wanted; the comfort of knowing where I was going and what I was I was doing every day: except now I’ve changed my mind.

It seems that lately so many friends and family in their forties, i.e. my age, are struggling with health problems. I’ve had no problems with my health before, (and my inner sceptic is struggling not to ‘touch wood’ now,)  but I know I won’t be this lucky forever. So this week I’ve decided that some of the things that I want to do later in life should in fact be done sooner, next year in fact. I know it’s a cliché but life IS short, and I want to do more fun stuff before my choices are limited by my health or the health of my husband who is four years older.

So, back to my goals, I thought I wanted a permanent job but now I can see that this would hold me back from doing some of the fun things I want to do next year. There’s no way any employer would want someone who is determined to take ten weeks off to go camping in Australia and sightseeing and visiting rellies in the UK.

Basically, the plan for next year is more fun stuff, and less work. I just have to figure out how to pay for all the things I want to do. This may mean selling some things and being more careful with money this year, but it will be worth it.

Two sayings spring to mind when I read back over this post:

The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.

And

Nobody ever said on their death-bed, “I wish I’d spent more time at the office.”

So just when I thought I knew what I wanted and where my life was heading, I’ve moved my goal posts. And this is fine. A year ago it would have scared me, but now I’m getting used to change; it’s not always a bad thing.